No Sleep Again.

As I begin to type this, it has now become 11:23 pm and I'm watching Disneynature's "Oceans". Sleep, needless to say is not on my side. It doesn't help that I have oodles of stuff on my mind right now, such as: buying our new house, having Heather as my power-of-attorney so I can go to soccer camp, cleaning the new house, the need to work on school work, focusing on "future" goals, and lastly, going through the book I am reading.

I am currently reading "Radical" by David Platt. It has become one of the most convicting books I have read, either my entire life or in a very long time. Most books that I read deal with understanding theology and knowing Scriptures better, but not this book. This book is developing a theology and inviting, nay, pushing you to apply and live by the theology that you have.

His whole premise is that we have "Americanized" the Gospel... and oddly enough- he's right. We have developed our cliches, our boundaries, and our own desires as smoke screens to keep us from chasing after the command given (which he makes a distinct difference between command and calling) on sharing the Gospel. We have made the Gospel all about us with "our own" best intentions in mind. I'll give an example. I recently overheard a conversation of a college student and please understand, I did not hear the full conversation, but let me share with you what I heard:

"The only reason I became a member of this church is so that they would support me on my missions trip and give me $200 a month for going to a Christian school. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that they would have the stipulation of membership before they do these things."

I'm not sure how the appropriate response would go, but needless to say, I was pretty disappointed by what I heard: "the church exists for me and my desires and interests." This is also coming from a church that provides a good portion of support to any members desiring to be missionaries. I don't understand the attitude and nature of this college student. They've grown up in this church. They've developed relationships in this church. They've been discipled, nurished, brought up under the godly teaching and they still feel that it's not enough that the church has given them this much, no, now we must complain about the church because of the stipulations and regulations it has put on certain things it will do for it's members. I often wonder if most people go on missions trips to "go" somewhere and do something cool that not many other people have done... or... to actually fulfill the calling to make big of our God. I'm sure there's an element of both sides, but which is the greater?

Please understand that I am nowhere near perfect, but as I'm reading this book, I'm beginning to see it more and more and more. Not just in me, but the believers around me. I don't know if I have a conclusion for this. I don't know what I'm to make of this, but I do know something... David Platt has it right when he says that we have screwed up the Gospel by adding the American Dream to it. We are not the center of the universe, God and His glory is and that's how we should be living.

Calvinism... oh no... here we go

I've grown up with Calvinistic thinking, but never had it given a name until college. When in college, it was explained that there are different people who believe different things within the "sect" of beliefs that I was taught. I believe that in order to own and believe their beliefs, one must research it themselves instead of being spoon fed what they believe.

For those who have forgotten... the 5 points of Calvinism are as the following

1. Total Depravity-- People are unable to deliver themselves from the bondage of sin
2. Unconditional Election-- People can do nothing to merit God's choice of them
3. Limited Atonement--Christ's death atones for the sin of those whom God has chosen
4. Irresistible Grace-- Those to whom God has given life find his grace in Christ irresistible
5. Perseverance of the Saints-- Since salvation is God's gift, the Christian cannot fall away from it.

Over the last few months, my beliefs have been challenged, not so much in not knowing what I believe, but why I believe it... or presenting my evidence for such beliefs. The two that have pestered or bothered me the most is #3 and #5. Again, I've been taught these but never really owned them for myself.

Let's start with limited atonement. I so desperately want to believe that there is atonement for everyone... but only if they partake of it. It's there, but there must be an act where the person accepting is willing experience the atonement. I was, what one of my professors coined, a 4 1/2 Calvinist, not 5. Over the last few months, I've been really struggling with understanding this concept.

You may not see the connection, but in my mind there is.

God choose us before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1). God draws people to Himself (John 6:44). If God has already figured out who is coming to heaven. Choosing them. Calling them. Bringing them. Then there is no extra atonement for those He has not called or chosen. We were chosen for belief before the creation process began. Before the utterance of words that created the heavens and the earth, we were chosen. Drawn, if you will, to God. Before I continue, I will say that I do not believe in double predestination (God chooses some for heaven and chooses some for hell), Scripture does not teach that position... not to mention, that Jesus came to save people, not condemn them. God places us all in a place where we are must likely to believe in Him (Acts17:26-28). Sure it comes down to our free will to a certain extent. But like Jeremiah, we were chosen by God for His glory. Does this make sense? (In the back of my mind I'm thinking... I hope I haven't said anything heretical...we'll see)

The second one was perseverance of the saints, meaning "once saved always saved". As I worked through this, I began to see how #3 and #5 are related. Yes, there are verses both sides use to support their position. But ultimately, what it boils down to is, who is control of salvation? Who supplies it? Who does the "calling/drawing"? Does my salvation depend on my actions and choices (once I have been saved)? When Jesus says "No one will snatch you out my Father's hands", He repeats it again, but differently, "No one will snatch you out of My hands." I find it pretty significant that Jesus repeats it in two different ways (repetition is a way Jewish writers show the importance of something) (found in John 10 the Good Shepherd passage). Another thought to go with this, if God said "No one" and a person believes they may take themselves out of the hand of God by being a backslider, are they not a "someone"? And if I follow the logic correctly, Jesus said that "No one of the some ones can get out". Does that make sense?

I also thought about the end of Romans 8. Where Paul lists the items that cannot separate us from the love of God. Among those are listed material and immaterial things... which I believe the point of it is no matter what the issue or problem is, it cannot take you out of your salvation. I'll end with an analogy that I was thinking of.

Imagine a fisherman in a boat, I imagine him in the bright, foggy morning, directing the boat to a special fishing spot. As the fisherman, slows down and the boat rocks back and forth with the settling of the waves, he casts the lure into the water and begins to reel it in. Feeling the jerk of a fish snagging the lure, the fisherman reels in the fish as it fights and struggles against the pull of the fisherman. The fish giving into the fisherman has now put himself under the rule, power, and authority of the fisherman. The fisherman scooping up the fish, detaches the hook and takes a moment to gaze at the beauty of the fish that he has just captured. After a moment or two, the fisherman then takes the fish and places it into the container for storing fish. The fish at that moment has no ability to do what it wants. It is controlled, owned, and at the will and mercy of the fisherman. With that, the fish has no ability to undo what the fisherman has done. He has been captured by the fisherman.

Maybe this idea fits. Maybe it doesn't. But it seems to be a good picture of us and salvation.

Teaching vs. Shepherding

As I worked outside this weekend, I began my offensive against all thorn bushes in our yard... or most of them. I've learned that the thorn bushes (even without movement) will ambush or attack in some way, shape, or form without your knowledge. Once that thorn is in your flesh it becomes a pain and nuisance. Either the thorns keep you from fulfilling your job or the deter you frustrate you.

I've come to a point where I am becoming ultra frustrated with my job. At what point do I stop being a shepherd and become a teacher? And at what point do I stop being a teacher and start being a shepherd? Teaching Bible at a Christian school is almost a thorn in my flesh... is it because I hate it??? By no means! I get two things I love- teaching the Bible and hanging with teens.

But as of lately, I've been struggling with this concept. Maybe it was today, maybe it's a build up of things, but I felt more attacked today because I filled the teacher role and not the shepherd role. As I continue to pursue God's will in my life, it almost seems certain that He has placed a desire in my heart that is not being fulfilled. Every time I challenge the students with an assignment, they find it rather legalistic and an attack on their "personal" relationship with God. I don't know what God has in store for me, but to put it as Switchfoot did, I fell "there's gotta be something more to what I'm living for".

With all this said, I'm not sure what God has in store for me, but I know that God has a good and perfect plan, and that I will become a better person from it. To God be the glory for all that has and will be done... I will trust in Him.